I Didn't Say It
(But I Wish I Had!)
compiled by Joel Balberman
What Are They?
A coach is a person who knows a great deal about very little, and who goes along learning more and more about less and less until finally, he knows practically everything about nothing.A ball player, on the other hand, is a person who knows very little about many things and keeps learning less and less about more and more, until he knows practically nothing about everything.
On the other hand, an umpire is a person who starts out knowing everything about everything but ends up knowing nothing about anything, due to his association with coaches and players.
Umpires are often referred to as the "men in blue". One crafty sportswriter had his own variation of this expression. He referred to umpires as the "men in boo".
"The mechanics of umpiring can be learned and is the easy part of the job. The umpire's approach to the game, his poise and his understanding of human nature are the important things. If any of these are lacking, he might as well buy a ticket and sit in the stands." - Joe Garagiola
"Well," said the Kingfish, "good judgment comes from experience."
"Then where does experience come from?" asked Amos.
"From bad judgment!"
Joel Balberman lives in Brantford, Ontario. For more information on him [Click Here].
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