A Little Bit Of History

Compiled by Joel Balberman

One example of a change brought about by the history of the game is the origin of the use of signals by umpires. This account from a book entitled A Century Of Baseball Lore by John Thorn:

"William Ellsworth Hoy came to the big leagues as a 27 year-old rookie in 1888. He was immediately tagged with the nickname "Dummy" - not because of any deficiencies of intellect, but because he was a deaf mute. He is credited with inducing home plate umpires to raise the right arm to signal a strike, since Hoy couldn't hear the call. Soon umpires began to signal strikes for all batters, thus relieving the strain on their vocal cords and making it easier for fans to follow the action."

Things have never been easy for umpires, but the period from the 1880's through the 1890's was particularly rough on umpires. For example, there was a sign in the Kansas City ballpark that read:

"Please don't shoot the umpire. He is doing the best he can."

This little ditty, taken from the same book, illustrates the level of respect which umpires enjoyed at the end of the last century :

"Mother , may I slug the umpire,
May I slug him right away?
So he cannot be here, mother
When the clubs begin to play?

Let me clasp his throat, dear mother,
In a dear, delightful grip
With one hand, and with the other
Bat him several in the lip.

Let me climb his frame, dear mother,
While the happy people shout;
I'll not kill him, dearest mother,
I will only knock him out.

Let me mop the ground up, mother,
With his person, dearest do;
If the ground can stand it, mother,
I don't see why you can't too."

Umpire Anecdotes

The manager approached the umpire with the complaint that the opposing pitcher had thrown an illegal pitch.

"It wasn't an illegal pitch," the umpire told him.
"Well," pleaded the manager, "That pitch is at least half illegal."
"I'll buy that," said the ump, "and I'll send your runner halfway to second base."
The manager returned to the dugout without saying another word.

One umpire used to tell hitters: "Boys, I'm one of those umpires that can make a mistake on the close ones. So, if it's close, you'd better hit it."

Then there's the story of the young umpire who was working for the first time in the local adult league. It was the first game of the new season, and a large crowd was at the ball park. The umpire is dressed in his new umpire's suit. He's as high as a kite, which was natural under the circumstances.

As the pitcher readies himself to pitch, the umpire crouches up tight to the catcher and gets down low to get a good look at the pitch. Suddenly, he hears a loud ripping sound, and then a roar of laughter from the crowd. You guessed it. He had split his pants wide open. He felt like crawling under the plate to hide. The next day, a large picture appeared on the front page of the local newspaper showing his problem graphically. Under it was a caption that read: "Official Opening".

How about the story about the catcher who, after the first pitch of the game had been called a ball, turned to the umpire behind him and said: "Well, looks like you won't be having that perfect game tonight!"

One umpire had a good way of dealing with an angry manager. On a called strike, the manager came roaring from the bench. The umpire patiently took off his mask and waited as the manager approached. Just as he was about to arrive, the umpire turned his back on him and addressed the crowd in the stands. "Ladies and gentlemen," he called, "the manager is about to make a short speech. As soon as he finishes it, he will be leaving the premises. I thank you."

What's the perfect answer to an upset fan. One umpire came very close to it on this occasion. The fans had been on this umpire unmercifully. One woman in particular was tearing into him. During a break in the action, she screamed out, "You blind bum! If you were my husband, I'd give you poison!" The umpire walked with great dignity over to the area near the woman, bowed, and doffed his cap to the lady. Then he shouted, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd take it!"

One day, a manager of a team was stopped by a stranger while on the way to the ballpark.

"What do you want?" asked the manager.
"How about a pass for today's game?" asked the stranger.
"Why should I give you a pass?" came the reply.
"I'm a friend of the umpire," he answered.
"No pass!" snapped the manager.
"Why not?" pleaded the fan.
"Because you're a liar!" shouted the manager. "No umpire ever had a friend!"

Then there was the story about the umpire who called the game due to darkness. Well, as you would expect, here comes the coach of the team that was losing asking why the game had been called. Our umpire might have spent a little more time considering his reply. "Because I can't see, that's why." he responded. The response was almost predictable. "So what! You haven't seen anything all day either."

Sometimes it just become a matter of who gets the last word. Here's an example of this. Once an umpire threw a player with an almost impeccable reputation out of a game. Everyone was amazed to see this happen. After, the game, a reporter approached the umpire to find out what had happened.

"What did he say?" the reporter asked.
"He wasn't feeling well," the umpire calmly replied.
"He looked okay before the game," the reporter countered.
"Well," the umpire shrugged, "that's what he told me. He said he was sick of my stupid decisions."

Sometimes, no matter how hard the umpire tries, the tables can get turned on him/her. Here is an example. A bespectacled pitcher was throwing this particular day. The umpire called ball four, and this resulted in a run being walked in. The pitcher rushed the plate, whipped off his glasses and offered them to the umpire yelling, "You need them more than I do!"

Of course, ejection followed. But now, here comes the manager. In his politest manner, he pleaded the case of his pitcher. He said, " Have a heart blue. The kid didn't mean it. He was excited, that's all." The umpire glared back at him and said, "It was bad enough casting aspersions on my eyesight, but he was yelling so loud the stands could hear. I won't tolerate it!" The opening was there. The manager retorted, "Well maybe the kid was yelling in case your hearing was as bad as your eyes!"

Once there was an umpire who was being given as very hard time from the fans over ball and strike calls. Suddenly, he stopped the game, clambered over to the stands, climbed to the top row and sat down. The bewildered players gathered at the screen and looked up at the umpire. "What's the idea?" one called. "If the fans can see 'em better from up here that I can down on the field," he shouted, "then here is where I'll call 'em from. Play ball!"

A timid rookie was facing a flaming fastballer for the first time. The hurler whipped his first two tosses over for strikes and the awestruck rookie didn't take his bat off his shoulder. He stepped out of the box, turned to the umpire and gulped," Gosh, I never saw those two!" The kid stepped back in and the pitcher shot over another burner for the third strike. The rookie turned and pleaded plaintively, "Mr. Umpire, don't you think that last one sounded a little low?"

To turn that one around a bit, here's the one about the umpire working in a local adult men's league for the first time. Here comes the ball right down the middle of the plate. The hitter, who happened to be a giant of a man, took the pitch for what the catcher thought was strike three. He didn't hear anything from the umpire. Just then, the big guy turns around and asks,

"What is it? What's the call?"
"Two," squeaked the umpire.
"Two...two what?" asked the catcher.
"Too close to tell!"